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A few months ago I read The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level by Gay Hendricks. This book really gave me a different perspective on life and the things that I was going through at the time that I started reading it. The book was extremely inspirational and Hendricks did a good job of breaking down the necessary steps to move past your Upper Limit Problem and experience true happiness and fulfillment.
What is the Upper Limit Problem?
The Upper Limit Problem is a glass ceiling that is held in place by a problem that you don’t even know that you have.
What is the problem that holds it in place?
“I have a limited tolerance for feeling good. When I hit my Upper Limit, I manufacture thoughts that make me feel bad. The problem is bigger than just my internal feelings, though: I seem to have a limited tolerance for my life going well in general. When I hit my Upper Limit, I do something that stops my positive forward trajectory. I get into conflict with my ex-wife, get into a money bind, or do something else that brings me back down within the bounds of my limited tolerance (pg. 7).”
How does the Upper Limit Problem work?
“Each of us has an inner thermostat setting that determines how much love, success, and creativity we allow ourselves to enjoy. When we exceed our inner thermostat setting, we will often do something to sabotage ourselves, causing us to drop back into the old, familiar zone where we feel secure (pg. 20).”
Things I Learned
1. “It is essential to keep heart-and-soul elements of life – such as love and creativity – growing in balance as you go to higher levels of material success (pg. 3).”
This really stuck out to me because I think a lot of times I think so much about material success and having a nice home or car, but I don’t think about being successful in love and creativity. What’s funny about this to me is that ultimately it’s the success in love and creativity that will allow you to enjoy the material success. Hendricks also writes “It makes no sense to take your Big Leap into greater financial success in such a way that it destroys your relationships, your inner sense of yourself, and your connection to your inner wellspring of creativity (pg. 3).”
2. I will never be fully satisfied until I’m anchored in the Zone of Genius.
“Your Zone of Genius is the set of activities you are uniquely suited to do (pg. 34).” The Zone of Genius is where you excel and experience an abundance of great things in every aspect of life. I won’t be satisfied in the Zones of Incompetence, Competence, or Excellence. In the Zone of Excellence is where I would be content but not excelling in life. I would constantly feel like I’m not doing enough or my work is in vain. The only way to experience the true blessings that God has for me is to enter and stay in my Zone of Genius.
3. Often times I feel fundamentally flawed and that it is a crime to outshine others.
There are hidden barriers that fuel the Upper Limit Problem. They are based on fear and false belief, but we believe them to be true. A lot of these beliefs we have because of our childhoods. There are four hidden barriers.
1. Feeling Fundamentally Flawed – “I cannot expand to my full creative genius because something is fundamentally wrong with me.”
2. Disloyalty and Abandonment
3. Believing That More Success Brings a Bigger Burden
4. The Crime of Outshining – “I must not expand to my full success, because if I did I would outshine ____________ and make him or her look or feel bad.”
The barriers that fuel by Upper Limit Problem are numbers 1 and 4. I haven’t been able to uncover when during my childhood the first hidden barrier of feeling flawed came from but I do have an idea of where the other barrier came from. I have a brother who is 18 months younger than me and we are night and day. He is outgoing, carefree, courageous, and strong-willed. I always felt like my parents tried to get him to follow in my footsteps and be like me when we were two different people. I have always been excited and interested about school, but he has not. This past school year I felt like I was outshining him and I was getting praised while he was being scolded for just being who he is. This book made me realize that it was not my fault and I shouldn’t hinder my success because of it.
I learned so much about myself and things that I need to work on after reading this book. This post doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of how much great and inspiring information is in the book. Does this sound like something you need? Click on the picture below to buy it now!
As always I want to thank God for using me as His messenger. If no one has told you recently, you are loved and you are worthy. You mean something to me and you mean something to God. He has a great plan for your life if you make the decision to follow Him. I hope that this post will resonate with you in your day to day life as you began to work on the things that are stopping you from living your best life.
Through Her He Speaks,